Favourite Abuse of Language for March 2012

In March 2012, the Government of Canada-- known affectionately as GOC by insiders-- took action to stop a lockout of three thousand airline pilots by nobody's favourite airline, Air Canada. The lockout threat had been timed to coincide with the school spring break period, a time when many parents would have made airline travel plans for their families. In response to the GOC action, Paul Strachan, President of the Air Canada Pilot's Association, was quoted as having said: "It's like negotiating with a monkey with the organ grinder standing behind you with a Sword of Damocles over your head" canoe.ca March 8 2012.
Air Canada as the monkey. GOC as an organ grinder. It is not clear if the Sword of Damocles is being held by the GOC organ grinder, or is in its traditional position hanging by a horse's hair from the ceiling over Damocles's head. The pilots union as Damocles? Okay, so it's not a mixed metaphor but it certainly is a complicated simile.
I want to know, is the monkey wearing little blue sailor pants? Does he have a cute red waistcoat (pronounced weskit for those not of the British Empire in rearing)? A waistcoat with, perhaps, shiny brass buttons and gold braid on it? Does the organ grinder look like an Italian Gypsy? Does he have a peg leg? Is he mean to the monkey? Why is Damocles negotiating with a monkey in the first place? How does Damocles figure into this organ-grinding scene at all?
Damocles (representing the pilots) was a court sycophant living about 2500 years ago, and King Dionysios got so sick of him sucking up that he suggested Damocles should try being a ruler for a while and see how he liked it. In the midst of an opulent feast, Damocles (who had been liking it pretty well, up to then) noticed a sword had been hung by a single horse's hair over his head. He felt, not surprisingly, threatened by this and opted for a simpler, less opulent, and safer life than that of a ruler. Cicero describes the sword scene as follows: "fulgentum gladium e lacunari saeta equina aptum demitti iussit". Cicero, a Roman writer living about 2200 years ago, makes no mention of monkeys or organ grinders.
We all wish the pilot's association would opt for a simpler, less opulent, and safer life and not desire to become a group of tyrants. If Damocles is negotiating with a monkey, he should figure out why he is working for a monkey in the first place and stop trying to confuse us with perverse imagery.
I'll wager that Capt. Strachan has not recently read any Cicero. If I am right, here is a quote from Marcus Tullius Cicero for him, in English: "Neither can embellishments of language be found without arrangement and expression of thoughts, nor can thoughts be made to shine without the light of language".
Thank you for reading
NorthStar